Safe Dating 4 Teens

​The freedom to discuss difficult issues without judgment…

FOR RELATIONSHIP SUPPORT: TEXT “CHAT” 833-641-0110

7 DAYS/WEEK

5 PM TO 12 AM

After hours phone: 1-800-773-2424

CARING, FREE, PRIVATE

9 Facts about Teen Dating....

  1. Approximately one in five teens report being a victim of emotional abuse. 
  2. Approximately one in five high school girls has been physically or   sexually abused  by a dating partner. 
  3. Dating violence among their peers is reported by 54% of high school students. 
  4. One in three teens reports knowing a friend or peer who has been physically hurt by his or her partner through violent actions which included hitting, punching, kicking, slapping, or choking. 
  5. Eighty percent of teens believe verbal abuse is a serious issue for their age group. 
  6. Nearly 80% of girls who have been victims of physical abuse in their dating relationships continue to date the abuser. 
  7. Nearly 20% of teen girls who have been in a relationship said that their boyfriend had threatened violence or self-harm in the event of a break-up. 
  8. Nearly 70% of young women who have been raped knew their rapist; the perpetrator was or had been a boyfriend, friend, or casual acquaintance. 
  9. The majority of teen dating abuse occurs in the home of one of the partners.

Sadly, dating violence is common. One in three teens in the US will experience physical, sexual, or emotional abuse from someone they’re in a relationship.

Need Support?  Privately text   “CHAT ” to the Safe Dating Teen TextLine  @ 833-641-0110

All About Consent

WHEN IT COMES TO SEXUAL ACTIVITY, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO DECIDE WHEN YOU DO IT, WHERE YOU DO IT, ​AND HOW YOU DO IT.

Consent is an agreement between people to engage in an activity.​
  • Consent means freely choosing to say ‘yes’ to a sexual activity. 
  • It’s needed for any kind of intimate activity, from touching or kissing and beyond. 
  • It’s always clearly communicated – there should be no mystery or doubt. 
  • There are laws around who can consent and who can’t. 
  • Without consent, any activity can be harmful!
Safety Planning

You deserve to be in a relationship that is healthy, supportive and SAFE.   Need help?  There’s a plan for that!

YOU deserve to be in a relationship that is healthy. YOU deserve to be in a relationship that is supportive. YOU deserve to be SAFE. Developing a Safety Plan will help YOU take charge of YOUR safety. ​Take time to work through a safety plan yourself or work through it with someone you trust. ​ ​The Safe Dating Teen TextLine can help!

​Watching someone you care about in a bad relationship can be very difficult. You might want to rescue them. Relationships are complex and it might not be the solution might not be that simple. 

The best advice: Be available. The more that others are able to take on themselves to support a survivor’s healing, the more that person will be able to focus on their own growth and processing.

Ask an Advocate

GET THE 411 ON RELATIONSHIP ISSUES!

I got into an argument with my boyfriend, because he liked another girl’s photo on Instagram. He said it was nothing and she is a friend, he doesn’t want other girls and that I should trust him. I asked to see his phone and he said no. If he has nothing to hide, why won’t he show me his phone? I went through his phone when he was in the bathroom and couldn’t find anything, but maybe he deleted messages. I was cheated on in my last relationship and now I don’t know if I can trust him.  

Hey,
Thank you for reaching out to our Safe Dating Teen TextLine. It sounds like you have been through a really hurtful past relationship, where your trust was betrayed. After experiencing a betrayal, it may feel difficult to trust other people again. It’s important to remember, that your new partner is not your old partner. It is not fair to your partner to make assumptions based on the actions of a completely different person. Healthy relationships involve respect. Your partner has a right to privacy, and if you feel that he is untrustworthy have a conversation with him about healthy ways to build trust and communicate with each other your wants and needs. Lastly trust is a choice, and building trust in your relationship takes time and effort. If you feel unable to trust other people your partner than you might need more time to heal before getting into a relationship.

My partner said they love me last night, and I don’t think I am ready to say it back.

Hey,
Thank you for reaching out to our Safe Dating Teen TextLine. It can feel like you are pressured to say I love you after a partner says it first. Feeling in love and expressing love to a partner that can happen at different times for different people. If your partner says it and you don’t feel the same way yet, that’s okay — just because you don’t feel ready to say it doesn’t mean you don’t have intimate feelings for them. Communicate with your partner by telling them how it makes you feel to hear them say it and tell them your own goals for the relationship.

Me and my partner have been fighting a lot and they say really hurtful things to me. They call me fat and stupid. Last week they yelled and embarrassed me in front of our friends. I got upset and teared up again. I was called stupid and accused of crying for attention. I tried to end things, and my partner apologized. I said I would think about staying with them, but I don’t know what to do. My best friend says its abuse but they have never hit me. Am I overreacting?

Hey,
Thank you for reaching out to Safe Dating Teen TextLine. It sounds like you have been going through a really tough time. It’s brave of you to reach out for advice. Conflict is normal in any relationship, but your arguments shouldn’t turn into personal attacks. It seems like your partner is using power and control in your relationship. If you have a moment follow this link to view the power and control wheel. In this wheel you may recognize more than one way your partner has been using power and control. You are not overreacting! Your partner may not have physically abused you, but emotional abuse can be equally painful and is still unsafe. Figuring out the next steps can be hard. Ultimately it is your decision if you want to stay in the relationship or end it. It’s important to make a decision that prioritizes your future. Whatever choice you make; we are here to give support and help you plan for your safety.

I really like this person. I have been there for them any time they need me to vent about ex partners. Every time we hang out, I pay the bill. All this time I thought they were into me. When I tried asking them out and they said no and they wanted to just stay friends. How can they treat me like we are a couple, but then reject me?

Hey,
Thank you for reaching out to Safe Dating Teen TextLine. It sounds like you developed strong feelings for your friend. It must have been hard to express your feelings for them to find out they don’t feel the same way. It’s ok to feel hurt by the rejection, but your friend is not obligated to be in a relationship with you. Just as you are not obligated to be in a relationship with someone you don’t have feelings for. It is important to respect their choice. Keep in mind friendships can also be unhealthy. All of your relationships should be respectful. That means everyone feels comfortable communicating their needs without fear of what another person will do in response. If you feel If you want to have a healthy friendship with this person try setting boundaries by communicating with them how you feel when they vent to you. If you do not want to foot the bill every time you hang out, let them know how it makes you feel. Thank you for your question, and we hope our answer helps, please contact us for any other questions or concerns.

How do you get a friend out of an abusive relationship if they ask me for help?

Hey,
You sound like a caring person. First of all, believe your friend. If they need an ear, be a listener. Keep in mind, though, that you can’t tell your friend what to do – staying or leaving a relationship has to be their decision. Talk through options with them and empower them with resources. This might not be the first thing you want to offer as advice, but trusted adults might be useful. There are professionals like our advocates on the TextLine that can help your friend navigate through the difficulty. Most importantly, if you suspect at any time your friend is unsafe, keeping a secret should not be a consideration for you. Safety should come above everything else! Confide in a trusted adult or professional and get immediate help!

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